5 Common Conversations I Have with Women in Their 40s While TTC

March 29, 2023

How many intake forms have you filled out to this day looking for answers? Ten? Or More?

You will know by now the top 3 questions on the first page, right?

Name. Age. Marital Status.

Then, of course, the reason for consulting with the chosen specialist.

I can imagine this is so daunting, having been through my own health issues with breast lumps and PCOS, it is confronting to be assigning yourself to a health problem that is not welcome in your life.

So I’m here to share with you my personal approach in practice, I have not told anyone publicly before. If you have consulted with me you may have experienced this approach with me, if you are a REALIST you may not like this approach, but I do encourage you to read on.

You see, having gone through my own women’s health challenges I have learnt – whatever I focus on multiplies. With my breast lump for example, of course, everyone around me panicked, I panicked too. So then the ripple effect began, I went to see a GP/gynae, she panicked, she referred me to do a biopsy that same day. They bent 3 needles because the mass was too tough. Blood tests, specialist referral, emergency bookings, my mum freaking out, my boyfriend (now my husband) freaking out. I still remember crying on my bedroom floor in overwhelm, asking myself, how did I get here?

Let’s step back for a minute to give you a bigger picture, the 12 months before I discovered my lump consisted of poor sleep, doing all-nighters to pass my assessments and exams to graduate on time from my double degree, working 5 jobs, eating at 10 pm in my hospitality job at least twice a week, stressing, dealing with anxiety, then travelling the world and eating, drinking, undoing myself further. They tell you to live your life to the fullest but they don’t really tell you that choices you make also produce the equivalent results.

I lay on the floor, reflecting on all of this and I realised - I don’t have cancer. I chose not to succumb to the hype. Who knows what may have been if I did. I realised that moment - I just did not look after me. I pushed, and hustled, and worked my butt off, but I forgot me. So in that moment, I called the best herbalist I knew and I booked an appointment for the following day.

To cut this short, I am ok, in 4 weeks of having daily brewed herbs my breast lump went down, but the lesson remained, I can choose me or I can neglect me, the choice was mine alone.

Why am I telling you this at this time of your life? As you so desperately desire to start or grow your own family while your body is resisting you?

Because it’s not about your age. There it is, I said it. It’s not about your egg reserves. We know where that’s at when it comes to female lifecycle. In fact, if you see me in the consult room, I will cross your age out.

Here is what it is about, here are the 5 things I love to talk to my female patients about when they cross over the 40 milestone while trying to conceive:

  1. Time is on your side. Do you like my re-frame? I know, it’s a bit of stretch at first, but here is the thing, your egg (the egg) is there. She is there coming your way! And it may be some time before she comes, but I’m telling you she is coming. And time is on your side to start making the positive changes in your life and your health.
  2. Focus on what you can control. Sleep, diet, self-care, stress management, fitness, MINDSET. Immerse yourself into upgrading your life and your health.
  3. Ask yourself the hard questions. Am I happy? Am I growing in work life, in personal life? Am I supported? What do I need to live the life I dream of?
  4. Past is in the past. We can only control this present moment. Control can work for you or against you, you cannot control anyone outside of you, not even your partner. (That’s a whole other blog).
  5. Anything is possible. You are possible. You are worthy. You can have what you dream of. You can make the obstacles work in your favour, learn from them, grow from them and love yourself more than ever before. This is the biggest shift and the biggest opportunity you will get to bring your dream into reality. And you don’t need to do this alone! This part is designed to do in an aligned partnership, a team that will elevate you and keep you in the vibration to reach the result we are all wanting for you.

Only last year a woman came into our clinic, in her early 40s. She was single, with a young child and she desperately wanted a sibling for her firstborn. It was the same desperation that I have seen in hundreds of women over my 12 years in practice. She put all her savings on the line to get support and get a donor. It didn’t work. She knew she had it in her, she didn’t know how. We both knew she could. We didn’t know how long it would take. The best fertility specialists rejected her because her FSH was too high. She was becoming a statistic. They didn’t want to bring their reputation down. But the truth was her body was capable without the medical intervention. We focused on what we could control, we managed her stress, we balanced her hormones, she took herbal medicine, she rested in her Acupuncture sessions. She ended up finding a donor through her personal network. I found out over Christmas that she is pregnant! And now she is safely in second trimester.

Ladies, you don’t need to do this alone, treatments are one element to your success. Being aligned with a team that believes in you is the other part of your success.

We are here to help you through your journey.

The time is now. This is the only time you can influence. This present moment.

Reach out and mention this blog and receive 50% off your Initial Consultation at ONA to help you have the strongest start possible.

Let’s do this!

You can reach us on (03) 8383 6500 for and in-house or a virtual consultation today.

With Love and Gratitude,
Anna Pino